bumbershoot and such.: 2/1/09

Saturday, February 7, 2009

"Jesus Pushed A Grocery Cart"

A man with car trouble and a homeless dude cross paths with mixed results.
10-minute, drama (2M)

NEW! Official entrant, Short & Sweet/Singapore: The Biggest Little Play Festival in the World, Singapore, March 2009.
NEW! Official entrant, Asphalt Jungle Shorts V, Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, February, 2009.

"I loved it!!!!!!!!!! Surprised me when I saw it...the end totally threw me for a loop, in a good way. I'm still thinking it over....'Jesus loves you?'. It definitely had my attention. It's got a kind of psychological mystification." - Katie Anderson, writer, visual artist, member of Inked-In.com, poet, IN"Reveille!"

"Jesus Pushed A Grocery Cart"

by Jeffrey James Ircink
4745 Saint Nicholas Avenue Culver City, California, USA 90230
c: (262) 806-2808
w : (310) 477-8400
jeffbumbershoot43@gmail.com
irc_64@hotmail.com
http://www.jeffircink.blogspot.com/

© Copyright September 2008

Cast of Characters
MALE, 30-45 – on-the-go, “with it” up-and-coming businessman
BUM, 30-50 – homeless, dirty, mean-spirited, likes to play with people’s heads, resentful

Setting
Near a freeway underpass in Los Angeles, California, USA.
Right now.

"Jesus Pushed A Grocery Cart"

ACT I, SCENE 1

(Los Angeles, California. Evening. A car is stalled off the side of the road near a freeway underpass. The hood is up. A MAN is under the car yelling, “Sonofabitch”, intermittently. He crawls out from under the car and checks underneath the hood. He’s dressed casually – nice shoes, jeans and sport jacket. He closes the hood and pulls out his cell.)

MAN
Sonofabitch!
(Into the cell.)
Hey - it’s me. The car died. I don’t know – it just quit. I have no idea. I tried. Where are you? Shit. What? I’ll have to walk home then, no biggie. Uh-huh. Yeh. Where?
(Looking around.)
Um...St. Mary’s Crescent and...just south of Millbrook. Hey I should get going. Yeah, OK. Wait – I could call AAA for a ride - honey? Hello? Katie? Sonofabitch!
(His phone dies. He tries calling. Nothing. He thinks about smashing it but hesitates.
Sonofabitch! Why does this fucking shit always happen to me?! Motherfucking piece of shit. Fuck!
(He goes into the car and changes out of his suit jacket. He puts on a coat and dons a #4 Brett Favre New York Jets baseball cap. He grabs his briefcase and other personal belongings - while he’s doing this, a BUM pushing a grocery cart enters from stage left. The BUM stops and sorts through a garbage can. Finding something of interest, he turns and sorts through his cart. The MAN doesn’t notice the BUM at first, but once he does he makes believe he’s still busy in his car. The BUM pushes his cart past the MAN and his car, stops for second and gives a shout out.)

BUM
Need some help?

MAN
What? No. I’m good. Thanks.

(The BUM waves and continues pushing his cart until he’s off-stage right. The MAN curses again. He looks to see if the BUM is gone, then gets out of his car. He’s just about to set off stage left when the BUM returns from stage right.)

BUM
Hey, wait up!

(The MAN tries to bolt but drops some papers. The BUM catches up and helps the MAN pick up his belongings.)

MAN
I got – thanks.
(The BUM hands him some papers.)
Thank you.

(He tries to leave but the BUM is blocking his path.)

BUM
Do you know of a place named “Pico Rivera”?

MAN
“Pico Rivera?” Is that a business?

BUM
(More succinctly.)
Do you know of a place named “Pico Rivera”?

MAN
(Irritated.)
No.
(Beat)

BUM
Where you goin’?

MAN
(Pointing stage left.)
That way.

BUM
Which way?

MAN
That way. The way you’re blocking.

BUM
Oh – pardon me.
(The MAN exits stage left, downstage. Yelling.)
Sorry. Didn’t mean to block your way!

(Beat. The BUM disappears stage left. The MAN reappears upstage, stage left, crossing in a diagonal. The BUM is not far behind him. The MAN crosses the stage numerous times, disappearing in the wings and reappearing, the BUM is in hot pursuit. The MAN reappears on stage and is alone. He stops to rest on a cement embankment/wall, rummaging through his briefcase, not seeing the BUM emerge from the wings. The BUM spots the MAN and lets his shopping cart fly across the stage in the direction of the MAN. The MAN hears the cart and looks up, just in time to prevent the cart from crashing into him.)

MAN
HEY!? What the fuck is your problem?! Why are you following me?

BUM
(Approaching the MAN.)
I’m not following you.

MAN
Yes you are.

BUM
No – I’m not. I just happen to be going the same way you are.

MAN
Fine. Go.

BUM
Fine.
(He starts off, then stops.)
Hey, you got any spare change, brother?

MAN
(Under his breath.)
Took you long enough.

BUM
What’s that?

MAN
I said I wish I had some.
(Hands in pockets.)
Nope – no change.

BUM
Bills will do just fine.

MAN
I don’t have any money on me, alright?

BUM
You don’t have one dollar in your wallet?

MAN
No.
(He takes out his wallet and opens it.)
See –

BUM
You have some bills in there – I see them.

MAN
Huh. I could’ve sworn I didn’t have any.

BUM
So can I have a dollar? Come on, man. You can spare a buck, can’t ya?

MAN
Yeh – fine. Here’s a dollar. Now can I be on my way – alone?

BUM
Sure. If you want.

MAN
Whatdaya mean, ‘if I want’?

BUM
Maybe you want some company.

MAN
I don’t need any company.

BUM
I didn’t say you “needed” company. I said “want”. I thought perhaps you “wanted” some company.

MAN
I don’t “want” any company, thank you.

BUM
Ya sure? Doesn’t look like anyone’s comin’ to get you.

MAN
I’m aware of that. That’s why I’m trying to walk home.

BUM
That’s why I’m trying to walk home.

MAN
(Beat)
Are you mocking me?

BUM
I think you’re mocking me.

MAN
I’m outta here.

(The MAN starts off stage right. The BUM leaves his cart and follows.)

BUM
Wait!

MAN
WHAT?!!

BUM
(Beat)
Nothing. I just didn’t want you to leave me, that’s all.

MAN
Listen - I feel bad. I really do. I mean, I don’t like to see this happen to anyone anymore than you like living it. It’s a tragedy – really. We all have our dignity and it’s not fair that –

BUM
Are you bullshitting me?

Read more!

Rustic & Backbone Trails. Will Rogers State Park. Pacific Palisades, Cali.

Read more!

Welcome.

So, if you're here, that means you were visiting my main blog, PASSION = TRUTH and are interested in reading sample pages from a few of my plays. Good. Click READ MORE in each post and a window will open up giving you access to the first 20-pages of each of my plays. If they're 10-Minute/Short Plays, you're getting roughly half the play.

If you're an actor, agent, director, producer, theater person of any sort, and would like to read the full play, email me at:
jeffbumbershoot43@gmail.com

(NOTE: If you open up the link to my main post - PASSION = TRUTH, you'll wanna shut off the music in this blog first, or you'll have two songs playing simultaneously.)

Enjoy.
Jeff

Recommendation letter

To Whom It May Concern:

...As Artistic Director of Urban Theater Project of Iowa, my company has been incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to do readings of two of Mr. Ircink’s plays, The Golgatha Crux and Stan’s Addiction. Both readings have garnered sincere and vociferous praise for the playwright and, perhaps more importantly, hours of discussion afterward...

...What is exceptional about Mr. Ircink’s work...is that he writes thoughtfully and clearly for live performance. I think, because he is a fine actor as well as a talented playwright, he is aware that his writing is to be spoken and that it is imperative that it makes sense in the scheme of live theater...his uncanny knack for writing intelligent dialogue makes his plays some of the worthiest of production I’ve read in the past several years.

Beyond his scripts, Mr. Ircink is someone with whom I would collaborate any time I had the chance...he earnestly listens to feedback and considers it thoughtfully as he redrafts his plays...He only ever wants to write the best play he can, and that is a rare and admirable goal.

The bottom line is this: I believe that Jeffrey James Ircink is one of our most gifted playwrights working today. Any company that involves itself with his material and with his artistry will be treated to an experience that will only foster some of the best theater happening right now.

Most Sincerely,
Leslie Charipar
Artistic Director
Urban Theater Project of Iowa/Theatre Cedar Rapids

Artist Statement

As an actor, my approach to roles has been what would I do if I were this character in this situation? Similarly, as a playwright, dialogue – not so much what is said but how it’s said – and subject matter are the elements I’m most concerned with. I tend to place myself in circumstances few people contemplate, and then develop a plot around those circumstances. I love extremes – a tap on the shoulder isn’t nearly as effective as a punch in the gut. That being said, when I write about the last smoker on the planet or four people from WHEEDs (We Help to Eradicate Ecosystem Demise) who live in a 500 square foot home or one man’s attempt to rid the world of the most evilest boy on the planet, I’m not going out of my way to be different as much as I’m trying to bridge the gap between my tastes and that of the audience. In the end, if the “unreal reality” I’ve helped to create on stage affects one person’s “reality” – I’ve accomplished my mission.

writer's bio

A Wisconsin native and graduate of the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater, Jeff has appeared in various stage productions in Iowa and Los Angeles, including The Glass Menagerie as Tom (Best Actor – OVATION), 17 Days as Jeff, Starmites as Space Punk, A Chorus Line as Don, Fools for Love as Martin, Jack and Jill as Jack, HAIR and multiple productions of Blood Brothers as Mickey and The Narrator. He’s also appeared in the films: Silent Killer with Joe Lando and Michael Gross, The Last Breath with Bruce Boxleitner, Terminal Error with Michael Nouri, Tumbleweeds with Janet McTeer and music videos for Robbie Williams and Cypress Hill.

As a playwright, Jeff’s plays have taken him to Ireland, Manhattan, Ohio, Bel Air, Cedar Rapids, Iowa City and Tujunga, CA. His first play, THE GOLGOTHA CRUX. (full length), had its premiere stage reading at the Urban Theater Project of Iowa in May 2004 and went on to become a finalist in the Dayton Playhouse FUTUREFEST 2004; a semi-finalist in the Wagner College 2004 Stanley Drama Award competition in New York, and received an Honorable Mention in the 73rd Annual Writer’s Digest Writing Competition/2004. Other plays include: CHROMOSOME 21(full length); STAN’S ADDICTION (full length, Heuer Publishing Co., 2006) – featured full-length play in an evening of staged readings at The Stray Dawg Theatre Company in Belfast, Ireland, April 2006; reading at Manhattan Theatre Source/Bleeker Street Irregulars Theatre Company, Manhattan, New York City, May 2007; “PASS THE SALT, PLEASE.” (that dirty little 10-min. play) – BEST OF SHOW at UNcover: a two night art exhibition with an erotic vibe, juried show, Cedar Rapids, IA, March 2007; Los Angeles premiere – Drake’s Erotica Emporium, West Hollywood, August 2007; Semi-finalist, Short & Sweet/Sydney, The Biggest Little Play Festival in the World, Sydney, Australia, December 2007; Semi-finalist – Asphalt Jungle Shorts IV, Ontario, Canada, April 2008; Official entrant, The Little Red Studio’s Erotic Shorts festival, Seattle, WA, April/May 2009; Opening show for Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, Spring 2009; 4 ½ MINUTES (give or take) TO CLIMAX (short); THE BED (10-min.) – Semi-finalist, Short & Sweet/Sydney, The Biggest Little Play Festival in the World, Sydney, Australia, December 2008; JESSICA, PARIS, BRITNEY AND LINDSAY MEET BRETT FAVRE ON THEIR TRAIN WRECK (10-min.); AMOR NO FLUXO (“Love in Flux”) – an erotic trilogy, including “Pass the Salt, Please.”, “4 ½ Minutes (give or take) to Climax” and REVEILLE! (One-Act); JESUS PUSHED A GROCERY CART (10-minute); HELLO ENGINE. I’M JAKE HOLMAN, a stage adaptation of the film, The Sand Pebbles. Works-in-progress include: THE METAMORPHOSES OF AN ASHCAN (or The Dominican, a Satyr and Nymph, Two Vaudevillians and a Clown Discuss Matters of Substance Over Goat Cheese and Tea); HOW TO KILL A BOY – a dark dramedy; THE EXONERATION OF D.E.S. (historical drama/based on a true story), and two plays on Frank Lloyd Wright.

Jeff is a Beach Boys groupie, is learning to play the Irish tin whistle, was the quintessential Green Bay Packer fan (until Brett Favre was traded) but is now following the New York Jets in protest, and would rather be bow hunting or fishing on a lake than doing whatever he’s doing at this very moment. Jeff is the editor of the advertising supplement, The Neighborhood Buzz, publishes the blog, Passion = Truth, on Blogger, contributes to the blog, Ditalini Press, and has self-published a book featuring his photography, called Passion = Truth, a photographic essay of life’s truths, available at http://www.blurb.com/.

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Saturday, February 7, 2009

"Jesus Pushed A Grocery Cart"

Rustic & Backbone Trails. Will Rogers State Park. Pacific Palisades, Cali.

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